Dad at 40

Fitness, Nutrition, Parenting, and Life

Archive for the category “Fitness and Well Being”

The Price of Being a Woman – Seen Through the Eyes of a Man

So, first and foremost, I cannot begin to comprehend the actual price of being a woman. I speak academically and anecdotally. I have spent a lot of time doing research and a lot of time focusing on fitness and health. More importantly, I read a lot of everything just to try to stay well-rounded. In my 43 years, I have seen and experienced a lot. Thus, I am taking a risk with this post and talking about something that many women find sensitive. But, I am trying to show that I do not just dimiss this issue and that it carries weight for me.


For the Guys – Framing

First and foremost for the men that will take the time to read this. Let’s be honest – we have objectified women. I would like to say that we are more evolved and more considerate and compassionate. But, we have used terms like smoking, balls hot, hottie, sexy, fuckable, and so many others. Conversely, we have used terms like brown-bag special, fugly, and so many other pejorative terms that it really makes us look bad as a gender. Even now, I find it a real challenge to break from those bad habits. You see, we have been just as conditioned to expect something as women have (which I will discuss momentarily). Now, if there is a guy out there who has never used any terms that objectified women in any way, I will be truly shocked. Is this wrong? Yes. Does it happen? Oh hell yes…all the time. I am lucky though, I have sons. I am not forced to face the reality that men objectify my daughter because I have no daughters. So, we do this….and worse yet, some of us that do it have daughters. It is like women are open territory, but those people with daughters can exempt their little girls from that reality (and I say little girls because to a parent, regardless of age, they are out “little” children).

But, we do not learn. I myself struggle with this still. It is something that men in general grow so comfortable with, they do not realize they do it. Think about this – at the gym, the store, a park, the mall, wherever you may be, you will naturally gravitate towards the woman who is attractive versus the woman you perceive to be unattractive. She gets ignored. Don’t believe me?

Try this article from way back in 2002:

Or take this one from 2011. This is interesting, it basically is the old prettiest girl at the dance may actually not be asked to dance theory. It is mathematically calculating that there is a probability that women who are more attractive are often less engaged or messaged because men think they have more suitors than they really do. It suggests that women who may have some slight imperfections may 1.) be attractive to some folks who like those imperfections and 2.) may be seen as potentially more available because fewer men will be contacting them as they are not rated as highly as “hot” women. Wait what? That is real???

At the end of the day, women are forced to deal with a lot by society. Notice, not just men. But society in general.

Imagine all this crap that women have to deal with and then you add the insult of pay. Women make less pay than men. Now, you toss into this equation that women perceived to be “beautiful” will make more than women perceived to be “not beautiful”. Man…this really sucks. The least we can do is try to understand it from a woman’s perspective. It is a real drag to know that your wife, sister, female friend, daughter, or really, any woman out there has to deal with this. And holy hell Batman, let’s not even start talking about it if you are some type of minority or exist outside the norms. Here is some data for you:

So that was for the guys…..

For the Women – Framing

Now, my observations for women. When I was being the typical guy I had no idea or paid little attention to all you faced. Now that I am trying to undo years of programming and terrible habits, I am seeing so much that just shocks and annoys me. Let me see if you all think the following challenges are real. I will just list the things I see (and I know this list is not all-inclusive):

  1. Magazines – what the shit? Every magazine cover I see has some completely photo-shopped woman on the cover. She is in a bikini, the perfect dress, or something incredibly cute. She looks like someone who is completely happy, gets a perfect night’s sleep, and has not one care in the world. I mean, seriously. What the hell? I saw the cover of women’s health at HEB and I photographed it for you all. blogimageGet. Her. Abs. Just three moves. Really? Just three? I am going to guess the three moves:
    1. Be rich
    2. Hire a trainer
    3. Hire a chef
      Ta-da….you too can have Gywneth’s abs. And Sexy, easy hair. And hotter orgasms. But, if you have jobs, kids, bills, stress, no time for the gym, no time to cook super healthy meals, limited budgets, and shitty relationships, well, you may struggle just a bit to get her abs. But seriously, that probably only impacts like 1% of you all.
  2. Is it just me or are all the sizes getting smaller? I see super cute stuff in the petites and smaller sizes. Then I got into the bigger sizes and it just looks like you went from being a young and happy dresser to dressing for church or an office luncheon. And seriously, even stores like Sears and JC Penney seem to glorify ridiculously over-sexed clothes for girls at a younger and younger age. Listen, I am no prude, but at a certain point (and maybe this is just me aging or something) it gets exhausting just trying to find something nice looking that is attractive and fairly modest and affordable. And yes, I look weird walking through the ladies clothing section at stores, but I have to do my research.
  3. Toys – Barbie. Bratz. Or whatever popular toy exists out there for girls. Seriously. How about end of a work day and frazzled Barbie? Or how about dealing with the kids all day Barbie? Maybe the just left the mammogram Barbie? These toys promote an unrealistic expectation of body image. I mean, you ladies are getting hit over the head with this from an early age. Every doll seems to have a thin waist and big boobs. Oh yes, tons of makeup too. And seriously, why does it look like every toy doll has the perfect life?
  4. Mall mannequins – is it just me, or are you all noticing a disturbing trend with mall mannequins. I mean, now they have nipples popping out and looking all sexed up. At least in this regard, guys get it too because I see male mannequins that look like NFL players. But seriously, you ladies really get clobbered over the head with this one. Super small waist. Rather large and perfect mannequin boobs. How about the mall mannequin that has had to breastfeed? Or the mall mannequin with boobs that are too large but she cannot afford a breast reduction? Or maybe the “she lost a lot of weight and has some excess skin” mannequin? These are real challenges that women face. But no, it is always the perfect mall mannequin.
  5. Makeup section – I have seen so many women get inundated with requests to give them a free makeover. Or let me help you look better with our new product. Or you walk through a mall and someone accosts you telling you I have this perfect cream to help with the bags under your eyes – but I will just do one eye so you can see the difference (translation, buy my products so you do not look like an older than you should be woman). Wow, I mean I never really noticed it until I started to really pay attention.
  6. Nightwear and underwear – sweet sassy molassey. What the hell? If you are not wearing something lacey and cute, it is basically considered granny panties. Gee thanks for making me feel good. Oh yes, that stuff is at the very back of the area…hidden behind four trap doors, and pretty soon will require you to sign a waiver to buy it indicating that you acknowledge you are old and beat. You need thongs! I mean, I guess they are comfortable. Sure, they look great with pants, but is having a piece of material crammed up your ass really comfortable? Someone please tell me….because it does not look comfortable to me.

These are just the things I see that are obvious. How much more do you all face? I mean, there is probably a ton of stuff that I have overlooked. And worse yet, I have been part of this problem. I am a part of this problem. I am working hard to break these bad habits, but bad habits are hard to break and like all things, you will find yourself having setbacks.

As I thought about this for my blog, I also started thinking about the why behind it. What is the driving force that pushes women to do what they do? You see, for years, I wanted to be fit because I wanted women to look at me and want me. Yet, I always failed. I not only failed, I failed spectacularly. But, one day I just let that go. I stopped caring what other people thought and just focused on fitness. I focused on myself. My mental health. My physical health. My state of mind. I applied discipline and consistency to myself and one day I woke up and not only did I have the body that people admired, I was actually healthy. I stopped caring how I looked. I was okay with a breakout. I was okay with being hot and sweaty. I was okay that I looked like crap in the gym. I tuned out all the noise. And it happened. Now, funny enough, I talked to a lot of women in my gym and the ones that are the most successful tune out the noise. They do it for themselves. They grind it out. They are not doing it to meet any societal standard or expectation. They just do it to say they can. Now, this is not to say that the woman who does it for the sake of looking good when others see her does not make progress, but I see those girls come and go. They drink hard, party hard, play hard, and live hard. I respect that. Nothing wrong with living the way you want to. But, the ones that do it for themselves are consistently in the gym busting their asses. I see them putting in the work….the effort….and the time.

So, as you ladies look to start your health and fitness journey, ask yourself why you are doing this. Take a moment to truly check in with yourselves about your motivation. You can make strides for any number of reasons, but it is my hypothesis that those of you who do it for yourselves and remove any of the bullshit distractors (i.e., societal expectations) will truly have the most success as you move forward.

My Takeaways

So, as I ponder this and think about this far more than I should, I had some thoughts. These are general thoughts and suggestions for both men and women.

  1. Ignore the media and the hype – it only serves to distract you from your true goals of being healthy and happy.
  2. Treat yourself – not just mentally, but physically. Exercise is not punishment. It is a reward for your body. You will feel better and be healthier (but it takes time).
  3. Remove negative influences – cut out people who would doubt you and your ability to succeed. Family…friends…all of it.
  4. Stop searching for affirmation – insecurity is a real challenge. To compensate, we try to seek affirmation that we look sexy or fit into some expectation. Post pictures because you are proud of your accomplishments and to prove to people that they too can reach a goal they set, but do not do it because you want people to think you look great.
  5. Not all attention is good attention – remember, the attention you seek is not always good attention. You are always free to want what you want, but sometimes, what you get can be far worse.
  6. Confidence is sexy – believe in yourself. Do not doubt yourself. You may not be perfect, but none of us are. We all have to push ourselves to be better.
  7. Compassion is the best – be kind and considerate to others. Help each other reach goals. It is not a competition with anyone but yourself. Do not tear each other down. Lift each other up. Support each other. Lend a hand. Share a kind word. Be humble.

Most importantly, I think we should understand that men and women are different (not that we don’t get that). But men, for the love of God, chill out. Stop looking at women like they are meat and you are hungry. I know this is easier said than done. But take a moment to get to know them. Right, like that is not obvious, but I mean really get to know them. There is a study that shows that woman are pretty much willing to overlook all flaws in a man (except for height, women love height). Obesity. Baldness. Skin problems. Women look for your best qualities and try to love you for that. But we typically look at their looks. Great…..they are willing to overlook our flaws and we sell them down the river for theirs. So yeah…come on guys.

Women….you are all beautiful. Yes, some of you have better external looks than others and societally we need to change how we treat women in that capacity. But, do not lose sight of your beauty. Do not let yourselves be defeated by despair and self-loathing. Love yourselves. Know that you give life. Know that you nurture and provide comfort and shelter. Know that your kindness and compassion is necessary for children to flourish and blossom. Know that if your kids become the typical guy, it is not your doing, but the impact of society putting pressure on boys to act like idiots. Do not lose hope because of a scale or because you are being marginalized by the patriarchy. Do not let media advertising fool you into thinking you are not good enough or amazing enough. Embrace who you are….and simply work to make yourself the best you possible without trying to conform to any expectation that people have of you…especially us men.

I still think to this mother who wrote about the whole bathroom debate some time back…and though her thoughts were about the issue of who uses what bathroom, her message about women and girls was loud and clear – you are warriors. Take a read….

Yes, it is extreme and blunt and uncomfortable, but I can tell you that it is very real…even more so in this day and age. I do not think all men are bad or that all women have to be preparing for a complete gender war….but I think that we all can learn a little something from each other. I think we can all work to better ourselves. My focus is on health and fitness, for the sake of health and fitness. But I do recognize the challenges that we all face to be better.

Hopefully I have not insulted any women. I really am trying to look at it through your eyes. To see my faults as a man. And to try to raise my boys to be men that are better than me so that they can in turn pass it on one day. And, I do this by framing health and fitness as a body and mind positive experience. Good luck on your journey…and please share your thoughts. I do not mind being wrong and I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Keep in mind, these are just my observations…I could never know the full depth of all you go through.

Fitness and Life – A Game of Inches

So, as I pondered what particular topic I wanted to write about next – proteins, stacks, workouts, motivation, and a host of other topics, my mind kept coming back to this idea, this belief that our lives are all about acquiring inches to move forward.

Thus, I want to share a speech with you. It is a completely fictional movie speech (Any Given Sunday), although rumor is it was based off a real speech. For me, it is a metaphor for so much more than football. It has resonated with me for a long time now (and for this blog, I have changed it a bit to reflect the reality that we all face – my changes to the original are in red):

I don’t know what to say, really. You are facing the biggest battle of your lifeand it all comes down to this moment. And either you heal yourself… or you’re going to crumble. Inch by inch, moment by moment, until you’re finished.

You’re in hell right now. Believe me. And you can stay here and get the shit kicked out of you, or you can fight your way back into the light. You can climb out of hell. One inch at a time.

Now, I can’t do it for you. I’m too old and that is not my job. I look around, I see your faces and I think … I mean, I made every wrong choice a person could make. I have been irresponsible with my money, believe it or not. I have chased off people who’ve loved me. And sometimes, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get older in life, things get taken from you. That’s — that’s part of life. But you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out life’s this game of inches.

Because in life, the margin for error is so small … I mean, one half-a-step too late or too early, and you don’t quite make it. One half second too slow or too fast, you don’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of this life, every minute, every second.

In your life, you fight for that inch. In this life, you tear yourself and everyone else around you to pieces for that inch. You CLAW with your fingernails for that inch.

Because you know when you add up all those inches, that’s going to make the fuckin’ difference between WINNING and LOSING! Between LIVING and DYING!

I’ll tell you this — in any fight, it’s the person who’s willing to die who’s going to win that inch. And I know if I’m going to have any life anymore, it’s because I’m still willing to fight and die for that inch. Because that’s what LIVING is! The 6 inches in front of your face!

Now, I can’t make you do it. You have to look at the person staring at you in the mirror. Look into those eyes. Now, I think you’re going to see a person who will go that inch with you. You’re going to see a person who will sacrifice themselves because they know when it comes down to it, you’re going to do what it takes to get that inch.

That is your life, people. And either you heal now…. or you will die alone. That’s it, folks. That’s life. That’s all it is. Now, what are you going to do?

This was a great speech delivered by Al Pacino (one of my favorites) and the power with which he delivered it was amazing. The first time I heard it, it had little impact on me because it was just a movie and I was too busy fighting my own demons to understand what it really meant. But, as I heard it over and over, it started to take on a completely different meaning for me. It became less about football and more about life. I was always trying to go for the big score. Trying to get the proverbial heroic touchdown or slam dunk. Every moment I spent trying to get that was a moment I sacrificed on the fundamentals of my life and health. I kept putting off for tomorrow what I could do today. I kept ignoring the inch in front of me hoping that I could take a foot or a mile!

And as I got older, I gained wisdom. Slowly. Painfully. I gained focus and resolve. I realized I had only this life to make a difference. To change myself and maybe, just maybe, change others for the better. And that despite losing so many inches while chasing a mile, I could still claw those inches out. They were still all around me.

It starts with yourself. Heal yourself. Put your demons to rest. For some, it is easier than others. I am not a therapist, but I can tell you that you have to want to move forward. We all need to put our energy into breaking free from that which holds us back so we can claim that first inch.

It starts so small….a tiny hint of movement. It is barely perceptible. We have all probably felt like we are stuck, not moving forward at all, even moving backwards. But, if you keep working hard and believing in yourself, you’ll get that forward movement. I am not saying that living a healthy life will solve all your problems, but it is something you control – you own. You can fight for those inches. You can claw for those inches. You can change yourself and see results. Yes, you will stumble and fall. You will have setbacks. But ultimately, you can and will prevail. And as you stand there victorious, you will realize you have the strength to conquer so much more.

And it doesn’t take anything fancy. Just willpower and dedication and desire. You just have to commit. You have to truly claw and fight for each inch. And that is why this speech resonates so much for me.

We succeed not because life dropped success in our laps. We succeed because we clawed for it. We fought for it. And when we finally stopped feeling sorry for ourselves and started focusing on what we needed, it changed us for the better. It is important to be a part of a team, and friends and support helps. But, we have to be prepared to go at it alone. We have to fight for our lives with our last breath.

Because you know when you add up all those inches, that’s going to make the fuckin’ difference between WINNING and LOSING! Between LIVING and DYING!”

Fitness, Food, and the terrible N word….

*I am a Doctor of Philosophy. Not an MD. I am not a Doctor of a Biological Science. What this means is I am a researcher. Feel free to disregard any of this…or do your own research, but please remember, should you undertake anything, make sure you check with your medical provider if you have any health issues.

Hey everybody, today I thought it would be good to discuss nutrition. I recently completed Jim Stoppani’s Shortcut to Shred program. It was a brutal six weeks, or so I thought until I examined the work I would have to do on the Super Shred 8 program. While messaging an old friend, I was asked about my nutrition during the program. This got me thinking that nutrition is a really ugly N word that we are just truly afraid of. Now, please do not confuse my use of the concept of N word with other more pejorative terms. Those are wrong….bottom line. But for people looking at health and fitness, nutrition is a very difficult concept to grasp. Intellectually, we all understand it. But, what does that mean in a practical sense? How do we apply it? What are some of the challenges we face? So, I want to share my knowledge with you. This will be a bit of a long read, but please read it….and ask me questions if you need.

First, what is nutrition? I am going to provide a standard dictionary definition for you:

“the process of providing or obtaining the food necessary for health and growth”

Great Rod….that is super easy. I get it. Thanks. All cleared up. I am ready to rock and roll. Yet, despite knowing this simple definition, we all struggle with this everyday. You see, we can have copious amounts of food with little to no nutritional value. And we can have highly nutritional food without any of the flavor that we have come to love and crave. For most, the biggest obstacle to health and wellness is the disconnect between food and nutrition. People have adopted the live to eat mentality as opposed to the eat to live mentality. This is highly dangerous to you as a human being. We will get back to that in a few minutes.


So let’s get to the nitty gritty of this issue. Bottom line, you need to watch your calories. You will read a ton of crap about eating properly. You will hear people say don’t eat before bedtime. Eat smaller meals. Do this…do that. I am here to tell you that all of that is really just psychological bullshit. Someone, somewhere is trying to sell you something. But the bottom line is calories. Don’t believe me? Read the linked article below about the nutritionist who ate twinkies and doritos. It will probably freak you out a bit. It certainly raises some serious questions about all this healthy eating stuff. Organic. Farm raised. Blah blah.

How about small meals? Yeah….I need to eat six small meals a day. Or I need not eat right before bed. Yeah, that is the trick. I need to do that. Well, take a gander at this article:

If you do not want to read it, here is the telling part “And a research review reached no conclusions about whether meal frequency helps or hurts with weight loss.

What the shit man? You mean eating multiple small meals a day may possibly make me want to eat more? Damnit….damnit to hell.

Then, you have this little gem about Herschel Walker. The dude only eats one meal a day. And he is a freak of physical nature. It must be genetics.

So, according to this other blogger, you can actually gain some benefit from just eating one meal a day and it could actually be good for you. Ok, so now I am totally confused. I can eat twinkies just once a day as long as I do not exceed my total caloric intake and still lose weight and get healthy. That literally runs against the grain of everything I have ever heard in my life. Rod, I thought you said you were going to help me understand nutrition, not confuse the hell out of me. Thanks man….I hate you.

However, there is a point to all of this. You see, the real deal is that there is no magic solution. There is no surefire way to eat right or find a quick fix to your problems. In an earlier post, I equated fitness and health to yard work. To make your yard look beautiful, you have to put in the work. You cannot just plow over it with the lawnmower and expect it to look amazing. So, this is your challenge. What works for you? No one can tell you what works for you because each of us is different. It means you have to do the homework. You have to track your calories. You have to monitor your foods. You have to take into account your circumstances. YOU HAVE TO COMMIT TO DOING THE WORK!


What does this mean? I hear it all the time. Macros simply mean macronutrients (proteins, fats, and carbohydrates). You have to monitor your macros means you need to look after the ratios of proteins, fats, and carbs in your diet. Earlier, we stated you could eat twinkies all day as long as you do not go over your calorie threshold. But, it you want to build muscle you will be hard pressed to do so as twinkies have no real protein content. On the flip side, you can ingest nothing but protein, but not have any carbs to help you with energy to do an activity. Fats are critical because without them, our bodies would have a really rough time. We need linoleic and linolenic acid to help with brain development, the controlling of inflammation, and blood clotting (Medline Plus, 2017). So, we have to create a healthy balance of macros to fuel our bodies. An imbalance can lead to all sorts of problems – heart disease, diabetes, obesity, stroke, death……

Read these two resources to help you better understand what to do with macros and to truly understand the purpose of fats:

It sounds like rocket science, but it isn’t. It is work though. You have to track things for a bit. Write things down. Make the effort. Listen, I promise you that if you end up sitting there with an amputated leg or the doctor telling you that your diabetes made you go blind, you will wish you could get that time back and do the work. So, just do the work now. Suck it up…put in the effort.

I Effing Love Food

Listen folks, I grew up in the Rio Grande Valley in South Texas. Mexican food was not just an item on a menu, it was a way of life. Enchiladas were their own food group. Tamales were darn near a religious experience. Drinking beer is likely preferred to water. It is no wonder that diabetes is a raging epidemic in the Rio Grande Valley. Nationally, diabetes is really causing problems. But, the South Texas region is literally ground zero for the epidemic.

Now, this may be anecdotal, but many people I know via Facebook regularly attend this little event called the Livestock Show and Rodeo. This is one of many events that occur back home where people just gorge themselves on some of the unhealthiest food imaginable. Listen, I do not fault people for doing this. Not one bit. Your body, your life. But, if you jump out of an airplane without a parachute, you probably should not complain on your way down that you are probably going to die. Sure, you might survive, but the odds are not in your favor. Wherever you live, you have to look at your culture, your surroundings, and your habits.

I have met a ton of Europeans that come visit Austin and they are totally shocked by the amount of food that we are served and, more importantly, the fact that people will consume everything put on a plate in front of them.  Here is a fun fact:

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture Nutrient Database, a 2-ounce serving of tortilla chips, or around 18 chips, contains 275 calories. Carbohydrates contribute the most at 150 calories per serving. Fats deliver 110 calories, while proteins offer 15 calories.Feb 4, 2014″

That is just 18 chips!! How many chips do you eat when you sit down at a restaurant? How many margaritas or beers do you drink?

Eight ounces of a standard margarita on the rocks will set you back about 455 calories, while a 12-ounce margarita has about 680 calories. You can lighten up your drink by limiting the Cointreau — or triple-sec, which is sometimes used instead — and by using fresh lime juice instead of a sweetened version.Apr 23, 2015″

Now, if you are supposed to consume just about 2500 calories a day, imagine how you can blow through that. And then people wonder why they look the way they do or have diabetes. Sweet sassy molassey….it’s kinda obvious.

My Diet

Look, I love food. I love cake. I love warm cookies and milk. I love all the same foods that a majority of Americans love. But at 6’8″, I weigh 229 and have 9.5% body fat. How? Because I monitor what I eat. I pay close attention to macros. I have cut out the unnecessary junk. Water is my preferred drink.

When my buddy asked whether I followed the Stoppani diet, I had to honestly say I did not. But, that does not mean that I did not pay attention to the overall needs of my body to gain muscle, lose weight, and function effectively. I consume a multi-vitamin. I drink protein shakes. I consume essential and branch chain amino acids. And I have one meal a day. That was referenced earlier as the Herschel Walker diet, but it is really commonly known as the warrior diet. That diet hearkens back to our old hunter, gatherer way of life. The tribe would hunt during the day, eating snacks of berries and such, and then feast on the kill at night. One meal….once a day. Small snacks during the day for energy. Calorie count all the way. Now, I can increase my caloric intake if I like based on the intensity of my workouts. The more I exercise, the more calories I can consume without gaining weight.

But, that works for me. You have to find what works for you. That is the trick. So, all this to say that you have to figure your needs out on your own. You have to have willpower and dedication to make things happen. There are no fad diets. No drinks. No silly programs. It is just guts and willpower and a little science. Remember, this is about eating to live. To fuel your body. Not living to eat. Not eating because it tastes good. Not eating because everyone else is doing it. It is about your health. That simple.

So, I hope you learned something today. I hope that this helps. As always, I am here to answer questions and offer my insight. I also want to hear from you all. Share your experiences. But remember, you have to put in the effort.

It is okay if you do not. No one is judging you. But, at the end of the day, the only person you can blame or pat on the back is yourself. You are your own best friend or your own worst enemy. Good luck….



Fitness and the Challenges you Face

I have been on a journey to see just what my body can do at 43. I remember being 18 and playing basketball in high school and feeling pretty damned inadequate when I saw classmates bench pressing or squatting heavy weights. Rather than push myself harder, I just turned my back on it. I refused to face my fear and overcome it. Now, I am 43 and I kick that fear in the balls. But, those same people that I was intimidated by are facing the challenges I faced when I was 18 and they are now turning their backs on those fears and letting them win.

The real challenge to fitness is not the exercise (although it is a real ball buster). It is the mental mindset. So, I want to talk about that for a bit….well, actually a lot. One thing about having a fancy, schmancy PhD is that you learn all these terms and ideas, but thanks to some really chill people I met, I learned that the easiest thing to do was break down complex concepts into something that was digestible and easy to understand by all. This one applies to both men and women.

So, I like to work on my yard. I really enjoy making my yard look good. To make my yard look good, I have to really, really work at it. Now, we can hire someone to come and fix our yard, but in the end, we have no true ownership of it. So, we may enjoy it, but when and if that company stops working on it, or when we can no longer afford the service, it will fall into a sad state again. Thus, you have to learn to do the work yourself. Making it look good means getting your hands dirty. Getting down on your hands and knees and pulling weeds. It means sweat and dirt and hurt. You feel it after you bust ass in your yard. Your back is sore and you ache. But there is nothing more rewarding than to sit outside after you bust your ass in your yard and see how pretty it looks. We want to transform our yards from this:


to this:


That is hard work. It is not instant. It takes time and dedication and effort. You will have setbacks. You may never get it to that point – but you will always strive to do so because you want that yard. You want to show it off. You want to be proud of it. You want to say “I did that!” so that you and those you love can enjoy what you have created.

Well folks….that is your body. That is what it takes to change your body. It takes getting your hands dirty. It takes getting on your hands and knees and pulling weeds. It takes pain and hurt. And it takes times. It takes effort. But, the results can be spectacular. You may never see the perfect body, but you keep striving to make it better. You keep pulling those weeds. You nourish it. You protect it. Not just when it is convenient, but all the time.

Just like that yard, you want your friends and family to enjoy it. As a new dad again, I want to be there for my young son. I want to ride roller coasters in my 50s and 60s. I do not want to watch life from the sidelines. You want to be there for your grandchildren. You want to live in the moment. You want to celebrate life with your friends. This does not mean you have to look like a model or have that perfectly ripped gym body, but you have to make the effort to improve yourself….all the time. But it won’t be easy. You will not just change overnight. You have to want to change. You have to face that fear. You have to do more than just push the lawnmower over the weeds.

Exercise is easy enough. The biggest obstacle to changing your life is you. That is what you have to overcome. And, more importantly, you have to do it now, when all the burdens of life are really hitting you. But it can be done. You just have to want to.

In the coming weeks and months, I will start to share ideas, thoughts, and advice to those of you that want to change. This stuff works. I know. I see the results every day. Whether you choose to do any of it will be up to you. It is, after all, your yard…….



I have spent a lot of time away from my blog this past year. I have a ton of ideas and thoughts and musings I want to share. However, time and life got in the way. As a new dad again, in my 40s, I did not realize how challenging this would be. The “I got this” mentality is something that I need to keep in check. In reality, I did not “have this” and have found that being a father again in my 40s is much more challenging than I had thought possible.

Add to that the fact that we had a crazy election year and that our country was challenged ideologically and I found myself stuck in a rut. Why a rut? Well, it is not so much a rut as it is frustration. You want to change things, but your voice matters little in a sea of voices screaming at the top of their lungs. So, I pushed back and tried to fight a battle that I could never win. It wasn’t even a draw. People will be who they will be. I can accept that. But, it affected me personally. I lost my focus and my energy to write about what I was passionate about. Instead, I tried to use logic to explain to people the fallacy of their views, which really just amounted to me hitting my head against a brick wall.

So, I am officially giving that up. I am going back to writing about my passion. That is this blog. It originally started as a place to share my musings about fatherhood in my 40s, and I will continue to do that. But, it is changing. It is going to focus on fitness.

Why fitness? What makes my blog so special in a sea of blogs about fitness? Well, it isn’t that special. However, it is the real deal. I am not going to bullshit you with craptastic advice. I am going to shoot you straight. I am not going to try to sell you anything or convince you to buy anything. I am just going to share my thoughts, ideas, and practices.

You can disregard anything I say. You can take to heart what I say. You can ask questions or reach out to me. What I do not know, I will research. What I do know, I will share. What is beyond my ability to properly answer, I will give you resources that do know. But this is my outlet and it is for everyone out there that needs some advice or some help or just a place to vent about the challenges you face. It is not just for dads, but for all men. For all people. But, I will tend to focus more on men our age. So please stop by and enjoy……



Post Navigation